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nikkai
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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #20 Posted: 16 July 2010 at 09:41 PM »
I return to this with a lifted heart.
I believe things are slowly returning to what I can say is as normal as I would expect, the flurry of relatives have again diminished to the few we have seen and known all of the time and the "long lost and distant" who evers have again returned to that previous state from whence they came, this is now giving the grandchildren the time and freedom they have asked for to be alone with their mother in mind if not in body.
The disruption to home life for them is again slowly sorting itself into a more stable and in the eldest ones words "it's getting easier to do the house stuff now, grandad Richard" hearing just those few words has made a difference to my own feelings, work is a distraction to thinking of Jo and the children (my son is big enough and ugly enough to take care of his own self.) sounds a little harsh in type though if you knew him and me you may understand what I say and why I say it.
Independence, is bordering on stubborness for him, (not sure where that comes form) I, myself have found a new "my place" I sat under the radar for four and a quarter hours letting myself do what ever my bodies ducts lungs nose and associated bit do, safe in the knowledge that no one would come there as they fear the radar? then sit in front of a TV and stand in front of a microwave to cook a meal.
Nowt as strange as folk
See I am feeling alot better and writing this may have been the kick start I needed,
I am going to thank all who read this and those that reply.

Thank you
Richard..
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Jamesw82
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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #21 Posted: 16 July 2010 at 10:30 PM »
Thanks for posting Richard, some of us had a little meet up tonight at Jolly Sailors and I asked Caz if you were ok and that you havent posted for a while. It's good to read your post and things are getting back to normal.
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Trigger
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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #22 Posted: 17 July 2010 at 03:40 AM »
Thanks for posting your update letting us know how things are going for you and your family at this time.  Obviously, for the grandchildren, you want to be there to help and protect them; unfortunately, the physical distance between you and family is a problem - although technology helps at such times.  Your own work and other commitments add to the problems and your own frustration at not being able to do more for them - adds to the pressures for you.  But slowly, things do slowly begin to fall into some sort order.  I also think that, for your grandchildren, the knowledge that you are there for them, despite the miles between you, is of great comfort to them.

Thanks for posting the update - and, as been said previously, for sharing this with us.  I am still a great believer in the saying that, sometimes, a trouble shared can become a trouble halved.
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nikkai
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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #23 Posted: 09 August 2010 at 03:54 AM »
Been a while and I have just lost what I had typed  crybaby2

Just to say that I along with SWMBO have been very busy with two teenage girls (boy magnets apparently if you listen to each of them)
I'll redo the post later but for now I'll say they are doing very well and have taught me a few things  Huh
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nikkai
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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #24 Posted: 18 August 2010 at 02:12 AM »
Once again I find myself sat up at stupid O clock with nothing to do but wash-up lol
Life is fun when your at an age when just around the corner is yet another one! still I should not complain in fear of being labeled a grumpy old bu##er, to which I am possibly over half way to being.
This year has been eventful to say the least and laying in bed mulling over the events have done nothing for my sleep pattern (if I ever had one) I have constantly moaned to my son about the children,! children two young women and a fast growing young lad. I know he has a life of his own but he has the responsibility of care for those who are left behind from the sudden death of the mother. I talk to the girls and hear "yer we're alright grandad, we miss mum but we're doing fine" Complicated is my family, the son who left the marital home two and a half years ago has or had started to set up his own life again with a new partner and yet another house, he still paid the rent on the home where the girls lived. The mother and her new partner and the three children all getting on well and happy then the sudden death and turmoil ensued, people who had not been near for years turned up to sort out things here and there, when there was nothing to sort but everything to mess around with, the wishes of organ donation stopped because "my jo jo's bits in someone else" and hysterics in a hospital ward, To avoid rows I told the children I would let the person concerned deal with the details as it was going to be less trouble that way, amongst the tears agreements made.
Visiting the grave with the children to find not one item of the flowers they picked were on the grave and the array of things with beloved daughter sister and even friend but not one with MUM and the pink picket fence promised was nowhere to be seen but a cold stark run of concrete coping stones surrounded their mothers plot, the youngest girls eyes puffed and swollen I just know she held back so many tears, thinking on excuses never had effect they were heart broken yet again, If I could have gone there first and put it right I would have only I like the children understood the grave would be done as the children wanted. To try and talk this over with the persons concerned is futile twice hung up on and then there's the too distressed to talk about it.
Forgive me but F####g get real the children ! what about the children.
My job sucks,
Well actually it doesn't I'm just in need of a change or a rest or I don't know what just something! I am home for a while and have been for two weeks which has again been as hectic as ever with trips to the doctor then to JPH to have yet another exercise test to see if they can kill or cure me, the later is preferred but I think it is edging more to the other, getting doped up with pain control then having what I would term as close to a half marathon as I would ever want to get on a treadmill (people pay to go on them things?) only to shoot off the end because when my back is so bad the legs just STOP. quite funny really, the nurse and specialist caught by surprise, myself more worried about the equipment and was an broken, after all I've fallen over before many times so I am quite used to the feel of cold concrete and warm blood. Thankfully this time no blood and we all had a giggle as I recovered, when asked if I wanted some paracetamol I said morphine would be more in the line of yes please, sadly they could not supply NHS cut backs no doubt
Spoke to my mother who claimed that I should not be at home yet as I had not been to work long enough? poor old dear keep taking the pills mind at the ripe age (not allowed to say--- woman thing) its not surprising she is a little fuzzy on some things and after giving birth to seven boys ! yup could not afford a telly mum is the surviving female from a family of fifteen, and the only surviving boy from that family is the youngest at 63.
We that is the wife and I were due to travel to her home lands of Grimsby but I have been called upon to join a vessel bound for Leith I did offer to drive her home then continue to the ship but as the length of away time is yet undisclosed there was a distinct NO which sort of leaves me thinking I did wrong again dad. I'll make it up to her in some way or another like keep her in the life of luxury she has always dreamed of yet never been able to get because I spend the money, so she tells me in no uncertain terms each time I have boobed or turned her plans upside down.
I have enjoyed this one way chat so I shall stop before the bones of my fingers pierce through the skin causing untold misery in me trying to clean the keyboard with a Q-tip gripped between my teeth, Oh that's not happening either as there is still a gap where the pulled tooth was and appointments made then changed as the surgery changes it's opening times has delayed the replacement and now I may have to as well.
TTFN it has been a pleasure......
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CybertraxUK
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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #25 Posted: 18 August 2010 at 10:08 AM »
Good to see you're looking at the bright side of things! 
Smiley

The way I look at life, you have to deal with loads of bad things in order to appreciate the good.  Just not sure when the good is delivered.....
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snowdrop
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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #26 Posted: 18 August 2010 at 12:18 PM »
When you up at stupid oclock and in pain it the recognision of that perspective at the time, certain irony in can it get any worse then you find it can so you become resolved to fact life is a b**ch.
You should not be allowed to carry on in pain like this,that is something that can be dealt with.Insist on seeing a pain specialist,then go back to dr be firm insist on stronger analgesic.I have morphine which i take from time to time you only have one life, which I
 like to live,constant pain makes life an endurance or very best lived  stoically.Both those things I can live without.If in pain take something that works and at this point it a big part of your life So don't negate it.One thing you have some control with.
They got to live with themselves about stopping organ donation,they will wake up to that sooner or later and regret that action nothing you could do
As for the key board use small artist brush.
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nikkai
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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #27 Posted: 18 August 2010 at 07:27 PM »
I am not one for reading books though there are a few I have picked up from time to time and the latest is called #'LBD its a girl thing'# to say it has taken my mind away from things is a plus the title caught my eye as I know that, well I thought that LBD stood for Little Black Dress and so how wrong I am Grace Dent has written and here the LBD stands for Les Bambinos Dangereuses a tail of school girl antics from the view of one of them. (enough said, I would not spoil it thus far) I have now passed the time of worry about what will happen as I know it either has or is going to so in the words I have heard spoken before. bring it on.
I am in good spirit at this moment in time life is mine, I shall lavish in it's wondrous opportunities.
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nikkai
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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #28 Posted: 08 October 2010 at 09:10 AM »
I have not been here (this blog thing) I seem to feel it is like airing your (my) laundry in public. but hey ho life is full to brimming with all sorts of stuff a few words from the horses mouth won't go amiss will it.
Turmoil and trepidations abound! Your right the normal happens and things go wrong or should I say not as I would have planned them but a continuation of life is happening.
I spent some time mulling over whether to change jobs, well employers really, the job is much the same in that I am still a chief engineer just on a different vessel now, which is working on a project which will no doubt cause for some views to be aired in the for or against it corners but I am working and as I care for me then my family I will be content to have a job.
The recent events within the family are still part of the worries I carry around though some are lessening while others stay the same.
Health is a question and although JPH has discharged me for one issue I am and will have others for the rest of my short stay on the earth, I and this worn out body is never going to get younger or be as agile as it once was, less bedroom activities more couch potato.
So to cap it off all in all things are fine and I along with the family are surviving which is a plus on a bonus.
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snowdrop
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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #29 Posted: 08 October 2010 at 10:23 AM »
hi richard do'nt give up blog...blog something you donn't need to write everyday...plus read someones blog who equally as miserable as me  sounds pervese but it can cheer the other miserable person up...
there are times you sound really bogged off with job,i can only go by personel happenings with me but i bitterly regret not taking a different job  when had chance than i was doing about 10yrs ago...i live with the 'if buts  what could have beens' to late now will never know.instead i slogged alot of working life out in  london east end very busy unbelielable miserable hospital,mainly because it was work and kept family afloat and if honest scared i would make mistake better the devil you know sort of thing.I REGRET THAT SO MUCH.
as for aches and pains that the nature of the human body,i sitting here just had operation on knee yesterday sand arthristis down with the the joy of knee replacement 6months time yippi doo.but i am rather young to be having that, last time i look i was 55 no coments from members who may or think they know to the contary,...think you have to deal with that the best was you can,and stoactly is not always the best.abit of kick ar&se with dr's you have those rights.
i know what you do with your job and i don't agree with it but for you it a job put bacon on the table we all understand that...it the money making powers that be put you in that position,i would imagin there many people on here in similar positions do something the rest of us do not see eye to eye with,that tough,it the way of society....as for bedroom activites try different room a couple of props holds you up take that what ever way,was thinking of a couple of crutches(one that stick under arms)work that out lets us know if it works....i know old sean connery riddled with arthristis and he  goes to work, his  bedroom activities are more limited  but less is quality i think of him a matue wine...not saying think of him,well ya could open whole new aspect on life...if it do let us know
good luck.but don't give blog up it good to know there are normal people around with problems some worse some not so bad it makes me feel i not the only one around with similar views.i do have sense of humour but for every yin there a yang   i can go very low..good luck                                                     
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