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Topic: Nikkai first & last should I post (Read 2532 times)

nikkai

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Nikkai first & last should I post « Posted: 03 July 2010 at 10:39 PM »

I am truly at a point of questioning
not sure if posting this will be interest
or out of blatant curiosity if it would help


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Mel

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #1 Posted: 04 July 2010 at 04:59 AM »


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Meryl

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #2 Posted: 04 July 2010 at 05:01 AM »

Perhaps it's too early in the morning


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Trigger

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #3 Posted: 04 July 2010 at 05:43 AM »

Perhaps the hot weather is proving too much!
Or perhaps it's brought on by the continuous, rocking of the ship which causes sailors, when onshore, to walk with that curious rolling gait.


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funkychick

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #4 Posted: 04 July 2010 at 06:10 AM »

Bless him, a shame in one so young icon_scratch


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Trigger

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #5 Posted: 04 July 2010 at 06:48 AM »

Quote from: funkychick on 04 July 2010 at 06:10 AM

Bless him, a shame in one so young icon_scratch

He's not that young! evil6


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funkychick

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #6 Posted: 04 July 2010 at 06:54 AM »

Oh Ok mid life crisis? Huh


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Trigger

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #7 Posted: 04 July 2010 at 07:22 AM »

Quote from: funkychick on 04 July 2010 at 06:54 AM

Oh Ok mid life crisis? Huh

Is that what they politely used to refer to as "On the Change"?


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funkychick

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #8 Posted: 04 July 2010 at 08:48 AM »

Think so Trigger what a lovely expression however it could just be the sun evil6


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freelance

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #9 Posted: 04 July 2010 at 08:52 AM »

Nikkai -- keep taking the medication !


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nikkai

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #10 Posted: 04 July 2010 at 11:18 AM »

Ok so I have started something but then went a little fruit loop so this may explain,
sorry it is long and having second thoughts an just about everything in my life at the moment so it could be classed as a mid life crisis

So where to begin?
I have never written a blog before and this is possibly just a way to get some things out in the open and possibly on the move within my mind to a more settled and normal way of being.
Last month has been the pinnacle of, in the words of our Queen “My annus horribilus”
It’s with that in mind I find it hard to start or even where the start should be. Do I just sit here and write down the woe’s and the where fore’s of this life I am experiencing of do I jump from feelings to thoughts in a hope of a magic wand to place it all in an order of some sort where rhyme or reason can be gleamed from the mess. Even sitting here now I am not even sure when any of this truly started or when I actually noticed that there is or maybe something different or possibly wrong with me.
If I start at January then am I deigning the actions through December? I am pushed to begin at a definite start point and what better than that of the birth of a new year where salutations are passed out wishing a better time than before. So it began with gusto and glee, The father-in-law, daughter and son-in-law to be joined myself and the wife before I returned to work for yet another period aboard, The current economic climate is taking its toll on work which is steady but slow and even though there are contracts things on the employment front are not as rosy as one would hope, finding sea staff that will work an eight hour watch rotation and do a month tour so my leave is spent in front of laptops and agency information trying to source good crew.
A bout of very bad stomach pains and diarrhoea took me to the doctor who referred me to JPH while waiting another bout gave rise for my wife calling out the ambulance and whisking me off to the very same JPH and a short stay before being discharged to wait for the follow up which would now be a colonoscopy. Armed with yet more medication I return to my ship and life does appear to settle a little and things start to improve, My son who is dyslexic and going through a divorce needed assistance with the process of his divorce, so via phone and then by stopping of at his house on my way home from work the forms were set and readied for the courts in Medway. Taking the forms in turned out to be a good idea as some small error got noticed and I was able to get that corrected so all would be well there, the wife and I managed some time at home to sit and sort out the possible sale of our current home two of us in a four bed detached place just seems off the wall to me.
So a trip home then back to work, as I said things seemed to be on a level or even slightly on the way up until I get a slight tooth ache above one of my crowns, as work is slow I try to get a dental appointment local to the ship and three hours before that the skipper is adamant there is a need to sail so that is what we do and my pain grows and grows to a point where the lower part of my eye socket swelled and started to close the eye. I requested ships medical but his idea is that I would be fine in the morning , a trip to a hospital where they could do nothing because of the condition of the abscess now above three teeth. When finally the ship docks back in the home port I can get to the dentist who was only able to remove the crown to allow a drain and to put me on more medication. Still with a face resembling a hamster I was given the news that a cousin had passed away the month previous and though the family did try to contact me they were unable to contact the vessel.
I returned home after my tour finished and started to look forward to the colonoscopy and the possibility of even a further test if that came up inconclusive, Being home for just under three days my son called around 8.00 am and informed me that his wife had died suddenly the previous day, the wife and I travelled down to Kent and then onto the London hospital where Jo had been taken in that hospital we found her connected to a life support machine. Grandchildren distraught and Jo’s parents and siblings all around, a very distressful sight and where I learnt that the hospital had put her on a life support machine, tests were made and the decision to turn the machine off. My son and daughter-in-law have been apart for around two years and Jo’s new partner seems to have been forgotten in all this mess, I pointed out to Jo’s parents that the partner is there though they are adamant my son is responsible for the whole matter and has to sort out all the arrangements and payments. While I agree he is now the only legal guardian of the three children there is a cause for concern regarding the other matters and legal advice needed to be obtained, again this is not an easy thing to try and sort through as my son has another partner and they are at contract signing point of purchasing a house.
Well so far I’m a wreck I have spoken to my Grandchildren and have taken then out for a day to change the environment they were in just for a short time. I myself have had one lot or results which if you look at it in one direction are good, I and cancer free and there are only one or two very small polyps within my large bowls which have been removed, but that just opens up the questions of what now and so it continues my journey to the JPH for a follow up exam has been completed and while speaking to the consultant there I am told there was nothing conclusive again though I do have a few ‘strange loops’ in my small bowls and he would give no other information on that. I am to await the results though in the mean time I have yet another appointment at the JPH this is for some surgery on (well I’m not saying) Talk about getting old I seem to have started to fall apart.
My phone, a life line to sanity has decided to go pear shaped and erase all my numbers and give an error on the memory card where the back-up was, I have a secondary back-up on a computer though that is at work somewhere at sea, using an old phone I have managed to get some sort of contact data together though most of the work numbers will be lost unless they call me again or I can remember who they were.
My daughter has distinctions in her marks from uni so I am very happy about that and my Christmas present from her and her man gave me a boost of joy I have not had for a long time, I have only ever stepped foot into a football ground twice and both occasions have not been to see football the first was to deliver grass to the QPR ground when the astro turf was removed the second was in Ipswich to watch pink! She is truly fantastic and to be only eight foot away when she was on stage but under her as she went over my hands in a ball just left me buzzing. I suppose the strange feelings I am having could be coming from the guilt of enjoying myself so much when my grandchildren have lost their mother, Taking time to jump up and down to a sound thumping through my chest when the children have just buried their mum. I cried at the concert and have done several nights, I get no warning just a rush and then wham I’m a 50 year old blubbering mess, the wife asked what was wrong but no reason I can think of fits what is going on in my life.
I have known Jo for 20 years, my son brought her home when she was 14, many many great times are held on video tape, the wedding, each child as they grow and all the days out together. Who would thing at 34 she would be no longer here with us in flesh.
Sitting here writing this has taken around five hours, my mind wandering and then the phone call to my granddaughter just to hear her voice and see if the lost tone has gone from it, which I am glad to hear has almost, the youngest and the middle grandchild return to school on Monday and I hope that I can get to Kent and have some time with the three before I swan off to sea and be out of touch just in case they want me I have given them the emergency number for ship contact.
We gave each grandchild a small book and pen telling them to write every feeling and thought down, if they did not want it known they could rip it out and burn it or keep them if they wanted just use the word as a way to help with how they felt, if it is a good idea or not I am not sure but writing this hasn’t changed me, it hasn’t made the empty feeling go away, it hasn’t brought her back. I has given me something to do for the last five or so hours.


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funkychick

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #11 Posted: 04 July 2010 at 04:02 PM »

Nikkai I am so sorry to hear of all the things going wrong in your life at the moment,- why do things always happen at once, you can plod along for years then one thing after another happens You've certainly got more than your fair share of worries at the moment and they can seem overwelming, especially with being away from home so much that must make you feel 'out of it all' Hopefully the rest of your tests will come back ok from JPH fingers crossed tightly for that result

How old are your grand kids and who will they be staying with? I am asking because a short while ago I had the same thing happen, two of my grand kids lost their very beloved Dad and my daughter her life partner He too was someone I was very fond of,- the children were distraught and couldnt understand why their dad had gone they were 6 and 4 It is a very very hard job with so many ups and downs my grand son particularly went through a period of anger at everything and lots of tears at strange times and places with seemingly no connections It does improve as time goes by although it has not been an easy road for my daughter or myself

There is a wonderful organisation called Winstons Wish you could google it it gives lots of help and advice and there are kids groups too we were unlucky becasue there arent any up here but there maybe in the area your grkids live in Encourage them to talk about their mum as much as they want, they may well all face their grief in different ways, there will be different time periods too,, tears, battered self esteem, anger, feelings of abandonment,fear, loss, you name it they will go through them all in different ways all you can do is be there for them in what ever way they need, accept, and know that they will heal eventually, healing is not forgetting but accepting. Memory boxes are a very good idea too pictures letters, little belongings to get out in quiet or sad moments. It is all compounded because your own health is worrying you at the moment giving you a double whammy I think it is good that you have put it down in words I am sure you have a close family and friends to talk to and your friends on here It is always helpful to have an ear that is not too close not too involved so hopefully we can all help from that point of view

I apologise for taking your first remark so lightly I really thought you were having a joke with us

My thoughts are with you Funky


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Trigger

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #12 Posted: 04 July 2010 at 05:04 PM »

Nikka - where do I start? First and foremost a big thank you for writing your blog - irrespective of the time it took - doing so will be, I am sure, a help to you. I am a great believer in the old saying “A trouble shared, is a trouble halved”. Whilst I’m not too sure about the accuracy of the second part - the important thing is to talk to someone - or failing that, to write everything down. There are times when ‘troubles’ (for want of a better word) seem to keep coming over the horizon - one after the other- almost non-stop. There are only a few points you discussed that I’ll comment on - the ones that I feel that I can comment on from first-hand experience. Regarding the loss of Jo - you, and your wife are, of course “rocks” for the grandchildren - and they need to know that, even though you’re miles away, you both are there for them - just knowing that does give children comfort and support. For you - an organisation that is there to talk to at such times is Cruse Bereavement Care - and do phone them if you need to. They helped me - I phoned two years after my father died. This was due to regular comments from Dad’s brother who, each time we spoke on the phone, always wanted to know, yet again, all the details of the day Dad died. Well-meaning friends would ask “Have you shed a tear yet?” and tut away when I said that I hadn’t. Increasingly, I began to feel guilty - although I had nothing to feel guilty about; then I heard a talk on the radio on this matter and the ‘experts’ said “If you haven’t shed a tear in two years - you definitely need help.” I would add that I have no brothers or sisters - so at such times I’m on my own. So I phoned Cruse - and they were a great help. And the fact that I hadn’t “shed a tear” was irrelevant - remember that not everyone grieves in the same way. And on that subject - don’t be afraid - or ashamed to cry. Remember that we have the same emotional mechanism as the ladies. And such emotions have a horrible habit of creeping up on you unexpectedly. Fortunately, the old saying about men keeping that “stiff upper lip” is fading away. Writing this - I occasionally have to rub my eyes - there must be grit in the air - but fortunately, there are tissues nearby!

And please don’t feel guilty or ashamed that you enjoyed the concert you attended - there are times when you too, need to “escape” which, in my view, helps to recharge your batteries. As for the medical problems - frustrating and worrying I know but, unfortunately, all part of the “getting older” process. I am, of course, still in my twenties (at least, in my mind) - sadly, my body doesn’t know this. The aches and pains, seizing up of joints, etc. are, unfortunately, getting more regular - it’s if something drops off that shouldn’t - that I will worry!
Once again, thank you for your posting.


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nikkai

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #13 Posted: 04 July 2010 at 09:18 PM »

Thank you to all who have read and replied
There is no need to apologize as I try to have a post read in an upbeat way no matter what I say
(I am not very good at explaining what I mean)
If I am down then I do not want a reader to feel down If I am up then the reader should also feel that emotion.

I have spoken with my grandchildren again today and also with my son, I am going to search for the Winstons Wish and the Cruse to see if they are in the local area to the children and for these two options I give my grateful thanks.

I am taking the medication and to be honest the alternative medication has helped

Light hearted fun lifts spirits so again I give out a thank yous

I will be going to Kent on Tuesday morning and with a bit of luck get travel arrangements sorted for the children so they can have unlimited travel on the buses in the county, so they will be able to visit the grave of their mother any time they wish, the schools have said that there is a counselor available should one be needed (I have the personal number for the head master of the girls school now) a very nice chat and he will communicate with the boys school on Monday. The eldest girl is of school leaving age and has not attended several of the exams, there is a slim possibility that she may be able to sit some though this is not set in stone and is up to the governing body etc, my fingers are crossed for a yes answer.

It has been a bit of an OK day so far but the night is yet to come, I just feel there is and should be more I can and should do or be doing. My wife is a diamond and one I am trying not to neglect, she puts me right on some things and gives me that inch when I steal the mile.


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Trigger

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #14 Posted: 05 July 2010 at 03:55 AM »

Thanks for the reply. My only comment would be to say - don’t “beat yourself up” by virtue of the fact that, in your opinion, you’re not doing enough. It sounds to me, from what you’ve told us, that you are doing everything you possibly can - bearing in mind your work, the distance you are from them, etc. Bear in mind also, that those thoughts are negative ones - and, they’re the “baddies”! Try and keep thoughts as positive ones - the “good guys”! I am sure that the grandchildren realise that you cannot be with them all the time - but they know you are there for them - and would take comfort for that.

Also take strength from the fact that your wife is there to share this with you - and you support and comfort each other at this time - that is a blessing in itself.


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funkychick

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #15 Posted: 05 July 2010 at 05:53 AM »

Nikkai what ever we do in life it never feels enough, as long as you and your wife are there for the children even if its on the end of a phone it will be good. Do ask the school for as many 'favours' as you feel needed after all they are dealing with the children for a big part of their life, one thing that can be arranged with the class is if the child is feeling very sad or angry they can go out to a quiet place to calm down for a few minutes I would certainly take the counselling up if the children want to but not arranging it if the times not right sometimes it comes later. Drawing pictures is a great release too as is talking about their Mum Can they have a holiday up here at some point? Whatever you do try to stay calm even if you need some counselling yourself they need to feel your strength If they are young they will be scared someone else will 'dissappear' so your strength will be invaluable to them

I can't write long as I am at work and we only get 10 mins before it locks out If there s any help you need we are all here


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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #16 Posted: 05 July 2010 at 08:06 PM »

i can't add anymore to what trig and fc have said.from what i read richard the children have a good grandparents in you and wife.
you not been a well man recently and been stoic through out,this will take a toll on the body,to carry on working under such pain you been having tends to start a spirall.i understand the bowel problem it sounds like you got something called redundant bowel,a very miserable problem made worse by everything going on in your life at the moment,but a rectifiable one.the doctor must talk to you about it i know it difficult but try a pin the dr down if youget no help with the dr about this then come back to me i know the condition inside out.metophor and in reality.
it do sound like a good rest is needed as the others have said is it poss have grandchildren down for a holiday...
it good you felt able to write this all down it a release,and myself others on
here feel heartfelt for your loss, and it privlidge you felt you can tell us.
writing things out is very cathartic and you are very good with words that must be a release..those orginazations the others have mention are very good,plus itgood to know they are there.
i do wish you well richard if anything one can do please ask,i from practical side the bowel condition.
life not easy richard that for sure,but to give a fellow human being a hand or shoulder in times like this,is always a privlidge.walk a few yards in others shooes i hope we help
god bless richard


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nikkai

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #17 Posted: 09 July 2010 at 04:18 AM »

I am back at work now so have to wait for an Internet signal to get on line.
Managed to settle down a little so with a bit of hope things will seem normal I'll not have much time to think about things as this vessel is a hands on operation.
Only a short post this time.
I have read through the posts again
Thanks for reading replying and being on the friendly forum


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funkychick

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #18 Posted: 09 July 2010 at 06:09 AM »

Thinking of you Nikkai through a difficult time, made more difficult as you are away, however as you say being busy will help, stay strong , we re all with you. Speak when you can All the best funky


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nikkai

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #19 Posted: 10 July 2010 at 01:11 AM »

In the words uttered in a film, "and so it begins" SSDD
I am not in the frame of mind for work though I am here and I am doing what I get paid for, saying that I have not had a lot of time to myself as the vessel seems to want my full attention! We have now got two crew off with malaria so are once again sailing with agency personnel, which with the operational requirements of this ship only puts more strain on the staff who know where and what things are.
I got new dates for my next appointments at JPH (August) my next leave and when I intended to have the children up to give them a bit of a break. Before I attend that I am asked to reduce the amount of medication I take for pain management so that the hospital can see if it is the medication that is giving me the problems, in other words they are not sure whats wrong so they will have a go at everything, (ha ha)
Hey on the plus side I won £2.50 in the ships internal football stakes.
Just had my Anniversary, the day I rejoined the ship!
I am not all doom and gloom I do feel quite well and even to the point of upbeat, I managed to get five of the crew laughing with tails of my health, Told them that I had to ring the doctor, as for the last three weeks at 8.30 every morning I urinate then at 9.00 I pass a stool.
Two said that was good and seemed normal but I added "I don't get out of bed until 12.00"


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nikkai

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #20 Posted: 16 July 2010 at 09:41 PM »

I return to this with a lifted heart.
I believe things are slowly returning to what I can say is as normal as I would expect, the flurry of relatives have again diminished to the few we have seen and known all of the time and the "long lost and distant" who evers have again returned to that previous state from whence they came, this is now giving the grandchildren the time and freedom they have asked for to be alone with their mother in mind if not in body.
The disruption to home life for them is again slowly sorting itself into a more stable and in the eldest ones words "it's getting easier to do the house stuff now, grandad Richard" hearing just those few words has made a difference to my own feelings, work is a distraction to thinking of Jo and the children (my son is big enough and ugly enough to take care of his own self.) sounds a little harsh in type though if you knew him and me you may understand what I say and why I say it.
Independence, is bordering on stubborness for him, (not sure where that comes form) I, myself have found a new "my place" I sat under the radar for four and a quarter hours letting myself do what ever my bodies ducts lungs nose and associated bit do, safe in the knowledge that no one would come there as they fear the radar? then sit in front of a TV and stand in front of a microwave to cook a meal.
Nowt as strange as folk
See I am feeling alot better and writing this may have been the kick start I needed,
I am going to thank all who read this and those that reply.

Thank you
Richard..


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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #21 Posted: 16 July 2010 at 10:30 PM »

Thanks for posting Richard, some of us had a little meet up tonight at Jolly Sailors and I asked Caz if you were ok and that you havent posted for a while. It's good to read your post and things are getting back to normal.


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Trigger

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #22 Posted: 17 July 2010 at 03:40 AM »

Thanks for posting your update letting us know how things are going for you and your family at this time. Obviously, for the grandchildren, you want to be there to help and protect them; unfortunately, the physical distance between you and family is a problem - although technology helps at such times. Your own work and other commitments add to the problems and your own frustration at not being able to do more for them - adds to the pressures for you. But slowly, things do slowly begin to fall into some sort order. I also think that, for your grandchildren, the knowledge that you are there for them, despite the miles between you, is of great comfort to them.

Thanks for posting the update - and, as been said previously, for sharing this with us. I am still a great believer in the saying that, sometimes, a trouble shared can become a trouble halved.


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nikkai

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #23 Posted: 09 August 2010 at 03:54 AM »

Been a while and I have just lost what I had typed crybaby2

Just to say that I along with SWMBO have been very busy with two teenage girls (boy magnets apparently if you listen to each of them)
I'll redo the post later but for now I'll say they are doing very well and have taught me a few things Huh


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nikkai

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #24 Posted: 18 August 2010 at 02:12 AM »

Once again I find myself sat up at stupid O clock with nothing to do but wash-up lol
Life is fun when your at an age when just around the corner is yet another one! still I should not complain in fear of being labeled a grumpy old bu##er, to which I am possibly over half way to being.
This year has been eventful to say the least and laying in bed mulling over the events have done nothing for my sleep pattern (if I ever had one) I have constantly moaned to my son about the children,! children two young women and a fast growing young lad. I know he has a life of his own but he has the responsibility of care for those who are left behind from the sudden death of the mother. I talk to the girls and hear "yer we're alright grandad, we miss mum but we're doing fine" Complicated is my family, the son who left the marital home two and a half years ago has or had started to set up his own life again with a new partner and yet another house, he still paid the rent on the home where the girls lived. The mother and her new partner and the three children all getting on well and happy then the sudden death and turmoil ensued, people who had not been near for years turned up to sort out things here and there, when there was nothing to sort but everything to mess around with, the wishes of organ donation stopped because "my jo jo's bits in someone else" and hysterics in a hospital ward, To avoid rows I told the children I would let the person concerned deal with the details as it was going to be less trouble that way, amongst the tears agreements made.
Visiting the grave with the children to find not one item of the flowers they picked were on the grave and the array of things with beloved daughter sister and even friend but not one with MUM and the pink picket fence promised was nowhere to be seen but a cold stark run of concrete coping stones surrounded their mothers plot, the youngest girls eyes puffed and swollen I just know she held back so many tears, thinking on excuses never had effect they were heart broken yet again, If I could have gone there first and put it right I would have only I like the children understood the grave would be done as the children wanted. To try and talk this over with the persons concerned is futile twice hung up on and then there's the too distressed to talk about it.
Forgive me but F####g get real the children ! what about the children.
My job sucks,
Well actually it doesn't I'm just in need of a change or a rest or I don't know what just something! I am home for a while and have been for two weeks which has again been as hectic as ever with trips to the doctor then to JPH to have yet another exercise test to see if they can kill or cure me, the later is preferred but I think it is edging more to the other, getting doped up with pain control then having what I would term as close to a half marathon as I would ever want to get on a treadmill (people pay to go on them things?) only to shoot off the end because when my back is so bad the legs just STOP. quite funny really, the nurse and specialist caught by surprise, myself more worried about the equipment and was an broken, after all I've fallen over before many times so I am quite used to the feel of cold concrete and warm blood. Thankfully this time no blood and we all had a giggle as I recovered, when asked if I wanted some paracetamol I said morphine would be more in the line of yes please, sadly they could not supply NHS cut backs no doubt
Spoke to my mother who claimed that I should not be at home yet as I had not been to work long enough? poor old dear keep taking the pills mind at the ripe age (not allowed to say--- woman thing) its not surprising she is a little fuzzy on some things and after giving birth to seven boys ! yup could not afford a telly mum is the surviving female from a family of fifteen, and the only surviving boy from that family is the youngest at 63.
We that is the wife and I were due to travel to her home lands of Grimsby but I have been called upon to join a vessel bound for Leith I did offer to drive her home then continue to the ship but as the length of away time is yet undisclosed there was a distinct NO which sort of leaves me thinking I did wrong again dad. I'll make it up to her in some way or another like keep her in the life of luxury she has always dreamed of yet never been able to get because I spend the money, so she tells me in no uncertain terms each time I have boobed or turned her plans upside down.
I have enjoyed this one way chat so I shall stop before the bones of my fingers pierce through the skin causing untold misery in me trying to clean the keyboard with a Q-tip gripped between my teeth, Oh that's not happening either as there is still a gap where the pulled tooth was and appointments made then changed as the surgery changes it's opening times has delayed the replacement and now I may have to as well.
TTFN it has been a pleasure......


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CybertraxUK

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #25 Posted: 18 August 2010 at 10:08 AM »

Good to see you're looking at the bright side of things!

The way I look at life, you have to deal with loads of bad things in order to appreciate the good. Just not sure when the good is delivered.....


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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #26 Posted: 18 August 2010 at 12:18 PM »

When you up at stupid oclock and in pain it the recognision of that perspective at the time, certain irony in can it get any worse then you find it can so you become resolved to fact life is a b**ch.
You should not be allowed to carry on in pain like this,that is something that can be dealt with.Insist on seeing a pain specialist,then go back to dr be firm insist on stronger analgesic.I have morphine which i take from time to time you only have one life, which I
like to live,constant pain makes life an endurance or very best lived stoically.Both those things I can live without.If in pain take something that works and at this point it a big part of your life So don't negate it.One thing you have some control with.
They got to live with themselves about stopping organ donation,they will wake up to that sooner or later and regret that action nothing you could do
As for the key board use small artist brush.


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nikkai

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #27 Posted: 18 August 2010 at 07:27 PM »

I am not one for reading books though there are a few I have picked up from time to time and the latest is called #'LBD its a girl thing'# to say it has taken my mind away from things is a plus the title caught my eye as I know that, well I thought that LBD stood for Little Black Dress and so how wrong I am Grace Dent has written and here the LBD stands for Les Bambinos Dangereuses a tail of school girl antics from the view of one of them. (enough said, I would not spoil it thus far) I have now passed the time of worry about what will happen as I know it either has or is going to so in the words I have heard spoken before. bring it on.
I am in good spirit at this moment in time life is mine, I shall lavish in it's wondrous opportunities.


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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #28 Posted: 08 October 2010 at 09:10 AM »

I have not been here (this blog thing) I seem to feel it is like airing your (my) laundry in public. but hey ho life is full to brimming with all sorts of stuff a few words from the horses mouth won't go amiss will it.
Turmoil and trepidations abound! Your right the normal happens and things go wrong or should I say not as I would have planned them but a continuation of life is happening.
I spent some time mulling over whether to change jobs, well employers really, the job is much the same in that I am still a chief engineer just on a different vessel now, which is working on a project which will no doubt cause for some views to be aired in the for or against it corners but I am working and as I care for me then my family I will be content to have a job.
The recent events within the family are still part of the worries I carry around though some are lessening while others stay the same.
Health is a question and although JPH has discharged me for one issue I am and will have others for the rest of my short stay on the earth, I and this worn out body is never going to get younger or be as agile as it once was, less bedroom activities more couch potato.
So to cap it off all in all things are fine and I along with the family are surviving which is a plus on a bonus.


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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #29 Posted: 08 October 2010 at 10:23 AM »

hi richard do'nt give up blog...blog something you donn't need to write everyday...plus read someones blog who equally as miserable as me sounds pervese but it can cheer the other miserable person up...
there are times you sound really bogged off with job,i can only go by personel happenings with me but i bitterly regret not taking a different job when had chance than i was doing about 10yrs ago...i live with the 'if buts what could have beens' to late now will never know.instead i slogged alot of working life out in london east end very busy unbelielable miserable hospital,mainly because it was work and kept family afloat and if honest scared i would make mistake better the devil you know sort of thing.I REGRET THAT SO MUCH.
as for aches and pains that the nature of the human body,i sitting here just had operation on knee yesterday sand arthristis down with the the joy of knee replacement 6months time yippi doo.but i am rather young to be having that, last time i look i was 55 no coments from members who may or think they know to the contary,...think you have to deal with that the best was you can,and stoactly is not always the best.abit of kick ar&se with dr's you have those rights.
i know what you do with your job and i don't agree with it but for you it a job put bacon on the table we all understand that...it the money making powers that be put you in that position,i would imagin there many people on here in similar positions do something the rest of us do not see eye to eye with,that tough,it the way of society....as for bedroom activites try different room a couple of props holds you up take that what ever way,was thinking of a couple of crutches(one that stick under arms)work that out lets us know if it works....i know old sean connery riddled with arthristis and he goes to work, his bedroom activities are more limited but less is quality i think of him a matue wine...not saying think of him,well ya could open whole new aspect on life...if it do let us know
good luck.but don't give blog up it good to know there are normal people around with problems some worse some not so bad it makes me feel i not the only one around with similar views.i do have sense of humour but for every yin there a yang i can go very low..good luck


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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #30 Posted: 08 October 2010 at 01:05 PM »

I am now working aboard the vessel Atlantic Guardian which is at the moment working with the construction of wind farms off our coastline.
While there are some who will say that these "ugly" lumps of waste there are a lot of people who will earn from them.
Dredging is and will go on in our area, I did not leave dredging through pressure but through choice I was asked to join the Guardian and so I did.
I hope that I will settle down and end up enjoying my time from here on


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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #31 Posted: 08 October 2010 at 02:26 PM »

Quote from: nikkai on 08 October 2010 at 01:05 PM

I am now working aboard the vessel Atlantic Guardian which is at the moment working with the construction of wind farms off our coastline.

I posted a picture of that vessel on 25th September - Post Number 1335 on "Ships and Boats" Were you by any chance on board then Nikkai?

http://www.lowestoftonline.com/community/index.php/topic,8364.1330.html


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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #32 Posted: 08 October 2010 at 04:53 PM »

that sounds ok richard...i mean to ask do you wear a uniform


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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #33 Posted: 08 October 2010 at 09:24 PM »

Hi BB yes I brought it into Lowestoft
I was going to post a reply with lots of information like engines equipment job in hand but then thought it was a bit toooooo geeky so I deleted it and left the thread alone Roll Eyes

Hi SD yes I do wear my uni complete with scrambled egg.
I don't wear it while in the watch but just if I am on bridge watch or if I join or leave a vessel

STANDARDS must be adhered to


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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #34 Posted: 12 October 2010 at 01:05 AM »

Hi all,
Well it is again stupid O clock and I am up !
So why ? well went o the JPH ~~this morning~~ Monday and entered the day case unit full of beans in the knowledge that they would look after me while I underwent a minor op

Hey who said it was a minor op! I'll tell you that if I knew then what I know now I would still have a few bits and bobs and yes I could live with the inconvenience, I have done for around 2 to 3 years...
The back of my left hand feels like it has been run over by a Kenworth and that is OK hey bring on the pain .. see if I care..
Mmm maybe I have turned into this wimpish weed that is sat here screaming "GIVE ME DRUGS" sat here on the one part that is giving my jip as would be said in all the old films I could do with a truck load of farmers to take my mind off the bits that are no longer there yet have left their mark (forgive the terminology) icon_scratch

To be honest the nurses and surgical staff are fantastic I thank them for making my short stay as short as it could be.
TMI on the medical department would put you off breakfast dinner and tea so I will let your minds wonder about what it is (or was) that they kindly rid me of (not hemorrhoids) evil6

The chaps at work said I could be a right A####e though now maybe not Grin

, I think I'm awake because of the time spent asleep and the discomfort of the hand, the other is a little sore but I can and will survive (much to some's disappointment)
I do hope that I can get back to the ship and see what sort of mess they are making of it, there are a few modifications to be done and some of them are my idea's so I would like to be there and voice my opinions regarding the work. Nothing like throwing one's weight about..
Enough for now I'll get to moan some more later or even say some thing on the up side of life like one of my grandchildren has decided she wants to attend University to study hair and beauty, I am over the moon and know she will put all she can into getting where she wants to be.


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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #35 Posted: 12 October 2010 at 06:23 AM »

Ouch Nikkai you have my empathy hope you feel loads better soon. Salt baths are good healers and cleaners. Once had an op. in the other nether region and could hardly wait for my salt bath to get into to, it felt fine whilst lying in there. Mind you I was on morphine as well which helppppppped


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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #36 Posted: 01 December 2010 at 06:45 PM »

That time of year has arrived and so it is with great pleasure I take SWMBO off on the visits to the long lost or distant relatives which seem to have been deposited in various area of the UK and even some other countries.
The first to have us visit are son, the grandchildren and then my mother and brother complete with their own offspring. this journey is only to Kent (Gravesend) so at 03:00 on the last day of November off we jolly well set....
Funny how things go isn't it! first of the place where we stop for a meal was shut? yes there was a dusting of snow but nothing that I would say was a white-out or even that bad it would be classed as severely bad. So continuing on through the county of Essex and the main road was clear, the gritting lorries had been seen doing their job and a good one at that. SWMBO and myself made good time on this journey and even managed to cross at the bridge without any problem, err that's where it all started to go wrong. Kent and not a glimmer of grit on any road not even the M25.... I left at my normal junction and found myself on packed ice, I have a 4X4 so this did not give any real problems and as I have also trained to drive a 4X4 correctly there was no concern on mine or SWMBO minds.
The whistle stop visits over and completed the return journey began this would have a stop off point at Blue Water then another at Lakeside both venues have departments which the wife or I would like to enter as to obtain certain items. Gravesend is but 6 mile from Blue Water so an early start to the shopping as we left the son's home at 09:30. at 11:00 we were sat in a jam still not at Blue Water but at a roundabout 2 mile from it, the Que (or should I say parked vehicles) were in every lane ON the roundabout and not necessarily in the right direction they should have been, some were at 90* to the kerbs, not because of skidding but because they were trying to weave their way through or even get to a position half a foot further up the road. then when that was negotiated the next was the hills where the ice made going up very hard for front wheel drive cars and once a wheel spin is started the use of full throttle is just NOT what should be used but tell that to the driver and receive verbal abuse and information that what would I know when I drive a F####### Chelsea tractor.
Given up on the Blue Water venture as the local police shut the entrance due to a RTC we divert to the tunnel but first a visit to an ASDA for some light refreshment (in the cafe within the store) another daft move and suggestion from me. the way there has about five roundabouts all of which are over run with drivers sat in the wrong lanes just using tunnel vision to put THIER vehicle as close to the one in-front regardless of where that is going or even if it is going (at one roundabout there was a panel van which had slid into the back of a truck, rendering the van unmovable but hey the car behind was that close you could not walk between them and that was much the same for the next few vehicles, so much so there was no way they could turn and navigate around the vac and truck so it went on with drivers getting very heated and a lot of language being hurled about. Giving up on ASDA we continued to the next three roundabouts all with the same jams and no space for traffic to leave in other directions, before we managed to get to the Dartford tunnel booths a Merc hooted and flashed me several times? I got out and asked what the gestures were in aid of (OK so I at this time was not as polite as that when I enquired to the driver, who informed me he was in a rush and I should get out of HIS WAY?)
I managed to get onto the Lakeside Estate at around 17:20 in time to see the places I would have liked to enter, shut. Now we return to the traffic jams to get back to the M25 and from the Lakeside / A13 exit it took yet another 3.15 hours to get to the slip road for the anti clockwise carriageway of the M25, I say to the slip way as this is as far as I could get, no the M25 was not blocked but the slipway was by seven cars ALL in the filter lane FOR the M25 but NONE of them wanted to go to the M25, (I asked)
Two may have thought I was going to remove them from their cars and beat them to a pulp !!!
I am NOT an aggressive person or even an aggressive driver, I have a clean driving licence and that is how it has always been but to come up against so many inconsiderate users of vehicles, who then scream abuse because they are in a rush when there actions are part of the problem if not all of it.
I have yet to drive to Lincolnshire and Oxon (have too much to carry to use public transport)
The problems at Kent are avoidable with good old fashioned policing where a few police officers can be used for point duty to control traffic.
The general driving public have turned into ME ME ME mode and give out the impression that everyone else should move out of their way as their car/ vehicle is better or dearer than the one in-front, so how dare it be there.
I am calm now though I have the opinion that the driver of today is selfish to the core, I am glad I was not towing my drag as I doubt that I could have managed to get home.
There should be a return to the points duty police and if filter lanes had bollards so that if your in them then YOU HAVE TO go that way, yes there may be a few mistakes from poorly planed trips but the problems I and a lot of other drivers came up against yesterday would NOT have happened.
IMHO


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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #37 Posted: 25 March 2011 at 11:11 PM »

Stop Press !!!!!

Here we (me at least) are, took myself of to the JPH for an appointment at 11.10 and so set of early so I would have time for a cup of coffee in the cafeteria in the hospital.
How wrong that thought would be! first of dear little pusskins had a mad half hour and refused to enter the house for his food! (swmbo was adamant he needed to be IN) giving up on the moggy we set out for the JPH only to get to the Ashburnham Way roundabout where the traffic just sat there, I detoured down Long road only to meet an accident at the traffic lights on Tom Crisp Way, so then went down Kirkley Run and then of towards Gt Yarmouth in slow traffic over the bridge and also up Katwijk Way then follow a car right up to the dual carriageway at 25 MPH, Finally getting parked and sorted at the JPH with no time to wait for and drink the much desired coffee, so went direct to clinic prepared for the long weight there.
Sat myself down and got out the trusty ipod to play patience but as soon as it had loaded the nurse called me in for the consultation.
All done and dusted in 40 minutes so off to Gorleston for a wander around the shops there.
I now await the confirmation for the operation date to be sent, yes I have to return and have some more beautifying surgery the last operations was not fully successful
Still every day in every way I'm getting older and older so you have to expect the odd bit to need a service or rebuild ......
Looking forward to Sunday and a play with my models at the boating lake (noticed that the canoes had been removed last time I was there.


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Joe

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #38 Posted: 25 March 2011 at 11:21 PM »

Good luck with the operation.

I can relate to the traffic woes, & maybe even surpass them with traffic woes of my own.
I went to Norwich today via the A146 & it took over half an hour to get from Worlingham to Beccles! Must have been some daytime roadworks or an accident between the two roundabouts because we were diverted off at Worlingham & back on at the Beccles Morrisons. Fortunately the 146 was open again for the trip home.

Anyone else affected & know what caused the delay?


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morty1753

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Re: Nikkai first & last should I post « Reply #39 Posted: 25 March 2011 at 11:34 PM »

Quote from: Joe on 25 March 2011 at 11:21 PM

Anyone else affected & know what caused the delay?

Apparently a digger fell off a lorry.... according to the news reports


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